rambling

Today my head is filled with random thoughts, quotes, memories, sayings, and feelings. So I will write

-I'm sorry for any pain that I caused you. Maybe I am thinking to much on it now, but I know for a moment, I wanted your happiness more than my own.

- me "Grandma what kind of cake are you making?"
grandma "Im making your mom's favorite, german chocolate cake"
me "I like that, but i only like the chocolate part, not the german part"

-Everyday I am reminded again that it is important for me to realize that just because someone agrees with me on many many things, doesnt mean that they will agree with me on the one thing that I wanted them to agree with above everything else.

-I realize very often that most of my favorite memories are those that i share with my family. Most of them just simple conversations with my dad. Or things that I remember my sister or grandfather saying. Like when my grandfather shared one of his own memories of me when i was a kid. He said "I remember when you would eat dinner with us, your grandmother always made redskin potatoes as a side, you would eat a regular plate with everything, just like the rest of us. But when you reached for seconds you would just fill your whole plate up with potatoes, mash them yourself and eat the whole damn thing. Then you would do it again if there was any left. Damn girl you really liked potatoes." That means nothing to anyone else, but to me and my family, it is hilarious and really special.

- I am really happy today. Weirdly nostalgic and hopeful. I'm stressed as hell for all the things i have to get done this week. But still oddly calm.