Acceptance

I have never claimed that the decisions I have made are good. I don't doubt that i am an idiot when it comes to love. Nor have I ever made myself believe i know what the fuck i am doing. When it comes to romance, relationships, or anything that has to do with my involvement with people; I firmly believe there is no right decisions.

I simply feel what I feel. The fact that i can even make a decision, is more to be proud of in my mind. Even if it is the wrong one, at least i know enough about who i am and what i want to know that I cant let this go yet.

I know that I am at the point in my life where nothing is just going to be simple. If I want love, i am going to have to take the pain that sometimes comes with it. If I want to see what the future has in store for me, I have to let go of what the past dealt to me and move on.

That is what I am doing. I love Jill. I am going to try to make this work with her. And I am going to go into it with as open of a heart as i possibly can. Try to let go of what happened, and try again. Because even if it doesnt make a lick of sense to all the logical, smart, well-meaning, self-righteous people out there, it is exactly what i want to do right now. And at least I am smart enough to follow my heart. Even if it leads me to the same place.

the end.